It seemed to take forever for dad to get packed up for our trip, but finally we were on our way.
Kinda.
No one had eaten breakfast so Dad decided to stop at Macdonald’s. Mom scowled at him. She’s gluten intolerant. That means she can’t eat anything with flour in it. It messes up her stomach. Sometimes it’d give her really stinky farts. Sometimes it’d make her live in the bathroom for a while. Before she knew what she had, it made her so sick she was in the hospital for ten days in something called the ICU. Dad said she nearly died.
So, no. MacDonalds was not a good place for her to eat. Too many hamburger buns and breaded food.
“Just get me a large iced tea.” She said. “We’ll stop at the grocery store for some gluten free bagels. But, while you’re in McDonalds, I’ll figure out the navigator.
Dad had a new used car with a built-in navigator. No one knew how to use it except Joe, but Joe wasn’t with us. While dad was in the restaurant, mom pulled the users guide out of the glove box and started pushing buttons.
She said a few words she wasn’t supposed to.
“You said a bad word.” I pointed out.
“Are you wanting to ride in the back with the luggage?”
That was kind of funny! We were in a Chevy Equinox. It’s a hatch back, so the back where the luggage was, was just behind me in the passenger compartment. I would still be able to hear everything they said and see out the window.
I decided I preferred being in the seat though, so I kept my mouth shut.
Mom kept pushing buttons, but now, when ever she started to say a bad word, she would look over her shoulder and scowl at me.
As if it was my fault she couldn’t figure out the stupid computer!
It took about five minutes of pushing buttons for mom to get the address of the hotel entered.
Dad still hadn’t come out of the restaurant.
“I remember when fast food was fast.” Mom told me.
Dad finally returned, grumbling about incompetent teenagers and lousy service.
“Remember when fast food used to be fast?” He asked us.
The next stop was Meijer. Man, it’s amazing how busy that store was on a rainy Sunday morning!
Dad dropped Mom off at the entrance and started circling the parking lot, looking for a spot.
“I feel like a vulture looking for a carcass.” He grumbled.
“Is carcass another name for parking spot?” I asked him.
“It is in Michigan.”
We finally found our carcass just as Dad’s phone buzzed. Mom had found some gluten free bagels and muffins and was ready for us to meet her at the entrance.
“What’d you get for me?” I asked after she’d buckled in.
They ignored me.
I quickly forgot about not getting breakfast when the navigator kicked in.
“Bear left.” It informed us.
There was a bear to the left of us? I swung my head around to see. No bear.
“Bear right.”
I looked to the right this time. Still no bear! I was getting a bit angry. I wanted to see some bears!
“Police bear left.” the navigator said.
“A POLICE BEAR?!??! Where? Where?” I wanted to know.
“It didn’t say police.” Mom sighed. “It said please.”
“But where’s the bear?”
“There’s no bears. It just means to turn that direction.”
I was getting huffy now. “Well, if it wanted us to turn, why didn’t it just say
to turn?”
“Maybe it’s wanting to expand your vocabulary.”
I didn’t want my vocabulary expanded. I wanted to see some bears!
We’d gotten on the interstate and were just starting to get out of town when Dad noticed something.
“Take a look at that guy’s tire! It’s flat!”
The guy two cars ahead of us and one lane over was driving at highway speed with a very low rear tire.
“Can you get up beside him so we can warn him?” Mom wondered.
Dad tried, but we were in the slow lane. He switched over to
the inside lane, but we had lost sight of the vehicle.
It was only a few minutes later, traffic came to an abrupt slow down. Everyone
was hitting the breaks!
A pick-up truck zoomed past us on the left side in the shoulder! He was pulling a trailer and couldn’t get slowed down in time. To avoid hitting us, he’d driven onto the strip of asphalt between the fast lane and the safety fence dividing the north and south lanes of traffic. We slowed way down so he could get back onto the road ahead of us.
The car with the low tire made its way over to the outside and pull to the shoulder. As we passed, we saw the tire was totally shredded.
The pick-up that had zoomed past us also made its way to the outside and stopped. He must have picked up a nail or piece of metal.
Mom and Dad looked at each other. We were barely out of town and had been witnesses to two near-accidents. Traffic was heavy, but no one had been hurt.
“Thank you, Jesus, for watching over us.” Dad breathed.
Mom and I ‘amen’ed that.
“Only nine and a half hours to go,” he added.
WHAT?!?!?!